On this blessed Solemnity of All Saints, I would like to offer a reflection on the littlest Saints of God. These precious ones were not famous martyrs, theologians, missionaries, kings or queens, yet they shine before the Altar of God just as beautifully as any of them. Their witness is not recorded in grandiose stories nor a plethora of miracles attributed to their causes. Many of them only made their pronouncement of God as Lord and King of All before an audience of one or two. Most of them never uttered a word, some of them never took a breath of air. Yet all now stand before the Throne of God, praising Him, along with the Seraphim and all the other Saints, continually crying, Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God of Hosts!
Paradise Lost
Death comes for us all. This is true for everyone from the very moment of conception. The hope of every parent though is that their children will grow old and flourish in wisdom and grace. As Dylan Thomas writes, “old age should burn and rave at close of day.” How then are we to grapple with the reality that some of God’s Holy Ones were merely conceived, only to seemingly flicker for but a moment? Why does God allow life to germinate merely to snatch it back? I know for certain that the answers to these questions will only be made clear on the other side of the veil. Perhaps, though, we are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking God why, perhaps we should be asking God how. How are these blessed little ones bearing witness to us as their parents and to the universal Church.
A Disruption of The Natural Order
For parents trying desperately to conceive, there is no greater joy than discovering a small white stick that two pink lines have magically appeared on. The elation is overwhelming and simply cannot be contained. You want to announce to everyone and anyone that will listen, “I’m going to be a Mom!,” “I’m going to be a Dad!” Then the ultrasound pictures come and in your eyes a Monet or a Van Gogh could not be more beautiful or more valuable.
In the blink of an eye though it all comes crashing down. Maybe it’s the 8, 12, or 16 week ultrasound when the tech starts getting blubbery and tells you they can’t find a heartbeat. Maybe it’s at 22 weeks and the Ob/GYN says there is a problem with the baby, we need to talk. Perhaps even the baby is born premature and lives for a couple of minutes, or hours, or days. No matter your unique situation, the world as you had known it only moments before ceases to exist and nothing but darkness remains.
Having a Pity Party
As a father who has been in this place, not just once but three times, I can testify that it is the absolute pit of despair. Nothing prepares you for it and each time it gets harder, not easier because of experience. You blame yourself, you blame the doctors and worst of all you blame God. God, how could YOU, allow this to happen. Then, resembling a temperamental toddler or a teenager full of angst, you give God the silent treatment. Days, weeks, months, perhaps years go by and you continue to ignore God. Not speaking to Him who holds you in the palm of His hand because you perceive that HE wronged you.
Then there is the world to deal with. The culture of death is all around us. New life is too often seen as a burden rather than a miracle. Why are you upset that your fetus died, they ask. They weren’t even human yet, you hear. Just get over it. Move on already, it was for the best. And countless other derogatory phrases are spewed at us. By strangers, by acquaintances, by friends, and worst of all by our own family members. We crawl inside of ourselves because we have no one, sometimes not even our spouse, who will comfort us.
HE, Whose Property Is to Always Have Mercy
Thankfully, He who is always merciful, disregards our tantrums and eagerly awaits our return to His arms. Regardless of how long it takes us to squelch our anger. We can give up on God, block Him out, curse Him and despise Him but He never gives up on us. Mercifully, when the day of penitence comes, when we turn back to God, we are greeted with not just His glorious face but the Blessed Virgin Mary, cradling our little one(s) in her arms. The peace that comes from this vision is truly that peace which passes all understanding.
Perhaps you have just lost one of these precious little ones or maybe the loss happened years ago. Maybe the hurt is still too much and you are still angry with God. Whatever your personal situation may be, I urge you to return to God with all your heart, soul and mind. Seek Him out in the tabernacle, in adoration, in confession. For it will be in seeking Him out that we will also discover our little saints. More alive than ever before waiting joyfully to greet us and intercede for us at the Heavenly Altar.
To Whom We Have Recourse
As we remember St. Peter, St. Paul, St. Therese and all of the other heroes of the faith this Holy day, may we also remember God’s littlest Saints, those who bore their Earthly witness in silence but now sing triumphantly in Heaven. If you are a fellow parent of one of these beautiful saints, peace be with you. May we, and the Universal Church, pray for their intercession. Now and forevermore, Amen.
“Let the little children come unto Me and do not hinder them. For the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14
